Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize