i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
