me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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