capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
he's single and there are thong briefs.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
