Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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