I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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