Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
