Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
