So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
