Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
