Four minutes until I can fart!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
