I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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