People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
