At least make sure they are 18
Why
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
