Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
