i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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