Me too!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
