My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
