should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
