New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
