he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
