Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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