Me too!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
