On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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