brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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