my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
