my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
