i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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