awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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