OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
