I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
