we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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