Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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