I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
