I wish my penis had an off switch
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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