so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Randomize
