So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
