Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
