she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
