I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
