This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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