I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
