who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
