The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
