why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
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