I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
