it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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