Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
