i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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