just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
