Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
