forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
