Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
