dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I understand Curling. That high.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
